Golden Girl: Musings on Life, Family & Career: Rachael Turns 9!

So this past Saturday, my daughter Rachael turned 9. It was a pretty big deal because she's my firstborn and she's almost a decade! My how the time flies. It seems like just yesterday I was a 20 year old carefree college student who had just found out she was pregnant. I remember the panic I felt and how the thoughts that my life was over paralyzed me. To be honest, I thought about not having my daughter. I was so concerned about all that I had to do and the life that I felt I had not lived to its fullest. I was being quite selfish.

At the very beginning of my pregnancy, I was involved in a car accident. I told my sister Shonda, and she advised me to go get checked out to make sure the baby was okay. At the time, I had decided that I did not want to have the baby so it didn't matter to me if the baby was okay or not. My sister pushed me to go anyway, so reluctanty I made my way to the hospital. My husband (who was my boyfriend at the time rode with me).

Once the nurse called me to the back, she asked me what I was there for. I explained to her that I had been in a car accident and I was pregnant and my sister made me come have the baby that I wasn't keeping checked out. She gave me a blank stare and went on to listen to my heartbeat and check my blood pressure.
I layed back on the examniation table while she wrote notes in my file. While she had her back turned, she asked me how far along I was. I replied that I was about 4 or 5 weeks.

The next thing I know, she turns around and in one quick motion lifts my shirt, squirts this cool blue gel on my stomach and places a baby doppler in the area where she had just put the gel. I had no idea what she was doing, but after a few short minutes, I heard this little rhytmic beat.

I looked at the nurse, afraid, I asked her what the sound was. "That's your baby heartbeat." was her answer.

I began to cry. At that moment, I felt an instant connection with the tiny fetus growing inside me. The nurse went and got Tremain and he came to the back to listen to his child's tiny heartbeat. We both cried. I knew at that moment that I had to give life to this child.

Tremain and I were married on September 4, 2001 when I was 4 months pregnant. My new husband joined the Air Force and by Septemeber 19th, we were moving to Eglin AFB in Florida where he was based.

Rachael Marie was born on January 15, 2002 at 10:45pm on the Air Force base.

I look back at that time and remember how nervous and afraid I was. I was in no way ready to be a mommy. I was still young myself. But, life doesn't always go the way we planned. I am not against abortion, but I know it wasn't the right choice for me. I knew I had to have my daughter.

Rachael entered my life and forced me to grow up. I learned quickly what true, unconditional love was. I learned not to be so selfish. I learned that I really had nothing to fear, and that motherhood suited me well afterall.

I love my firstborn to pieces. Sure, there are things I could do better by her, and I am working on those things. I realize that she is a reflection of me....my hope for her and my other two children is that they live long, happy lives and are kind and compassionate citizens of the world. (-:

Below are some pics of Rachael and her friends at her birthday party this past Sunday. I would also like to send out a Skeeeeee-Weeeeee!!!! to my Sorors of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. Here's to 103 years of service..I love you all andI love my A.K.A!!!